changing gears

Come Monday I'll be student teaching at Bloomer Junior/High School rather than Boyceville. My cooperating teacher at Boyceville reminded me once that "the students don't like change". I don't know how much any of us like change. I know that I enjoy the challenge of being flexible with and for the students. In this sense I recognize that I need change, but at this point am not certain of my fondness for it. There is much I am looking forward to. The drive is beautiful and enjoyable. There are several sections of the road that remind me of riding in the back of our '75 SAAB 99. (The same car that facilitated an extended visit in Beach, S.D.) Sheryl and I would press the buttons that would control the roller coaster ride that my father provided as he straightened the curves and left our stomachs at the tops of the last hill. It was on the county back roads of Wisconsin that I may have first learned that sudden changes in direction and even altitude can be exhilarating and adventuresome.
I am only hoping that this next shift in direction is exciting and not the alternative - a bit nauseating.

try, try again

I have received written confirmation that I am free to seek employment elsewhere. I didn't quite have all my eggs in one basket, it was just the first basket I've tried. So - on to new baskets.


I'm sure that often after graduation there are more basket options than a person could know what to do with.

afternoon with Penelope and Persephone

Pene and I went walking out at the lake this afternoon. The abnormally warm breezes across the lake carried the anticipation and joy of new life and rebirth. The hum of the earth welcomed the moisture of the snow and ice melt as trees stirred to ready for the physical pronouncement of the waking woods. Above the surface of the still somewhat frozen lake the interplay of the cold air moving from the surface of the lake met with the surrounding air to make the same mirage effect that is normally witnessed above warm objects. (roads, radiators, desert sand)
The day felt like the fairytale rendition of first love's first date. There is only anticipation of what will be, what may be. All is right in the world for an hour, that hour.Upon arriving home from my blissful stroll, my dad reminded me that this is tornado weather. We do have a watch now, but I'm sure all this wind will just blow a tornado away.

letting go of limbo

I have arrived at that moment of deciding that if there was a positive decision to be made, it would be made by now. I feel the only reason there is a delay is in stalling to communicate the verdict, or waiting on timing.
It is no coincidence that 'wait' is a four-letter word. 'Just wait' is even worse, there is nothing 'just' about it.I know if I could see the mountain, it may seem too tall, too steep, too large - too much. My next steps seem to be going into thin air - no mountain in sight.

(Lake Louise in the mist and rain, taken on the road trip that Sher and I went on in 1996.)

life in another's hands

Limbo is defined as the in-between place. It is existing between realities. My limbo is being lived out (or through) checking emails and waiting for the phone to ring. The fork in the road is or isn't a fork based on the decision of someone else. I remind myself that regardless of the direction that my life will take (or can't/won't take), it will be 'good' either way. (Regardless of how much I want it to go in a certain direction.) The hardest time of the day comes when I come home from school and am able to check my email, after there has been a full day for a message to be sent. This is one of those times that I wish I could suspend free will and make someone do exactly what I think I want them to.
In my bible study this week, the question was posed whether we trust that God can and will work in the heart of an individual [who is currently making a decision that will affect our life] to bring about His plan for us. I was unable to see why this individual would have to head these promptings of God anymore than I would. It would seem to me that my life's direction would then be in the hands of an infallible individual capable of being wrong, misguided, or deliberately willfully opposed to God.
This ultimately defines the manner in which I understand the sovereignty of God. I do not believe that God will force the will of man. People have been, for all of history, lived in manners that are contrary to God. What I do believe is that whatever path my life is takes, be it of my will or that of another, God will be there for the journey. I only ask that I have the strength and fortitude to continue when the road doesn't fork the way that I want it to.

prolific cory cats

I don't know if it has had anything to do with snow days and schedules being off, but my corydora catfish have spawned. I went to feed the fishes today and the tank has clumps of little round eggs scattered and stuck about. I did notice that the cories were acting oddly yesterday night, but I thought everyone has a right to strange behavior periodically. I enjoy my fish tanks and these cycles and dramas of life being played out in micro-habitats in the basement.

I do not enjoy taking pictures of my fish tank, I find it frustrating to not be able to get a clear focus.