Obviously this photo isn't as recent as today or even yesterday, but it is on my mind this evening - or often times even. Last Wednesday evening we celebrated Grandma and Grandpa Peterson's 60th wedding anniversary. This photo was the wallpaper on my computer and was therefore sitting on the screen as we waited to know what was happening before the slide show started. Grandpa read the verse and (although I interrupted because it was just my wallpaper and not a planned part of the presentation) his reading it added truth to the sentiment. He and my grandmother have given their lives for the inheritance of and in heaven. This verse from 'Be Thou My Vision' sums up all that I hope for and long to embody more truly. I can think of all that I 'have' - all the material possessions and even relationships, that, in truth - have me. I am realizing that before I can even think of leaving here - the house, the state, the country - I have so much stuff that I need to sort through. I have rationalized not flat out getting rid of everything in the facts that I will probably continue to teach in some capacity and there is no sense in getting rid of one project to replace it (and thereby pay for) with another one.
Tonight's thoughts on 'Be Thou My Vision' revolve around the layers of meaning within the phrase. The fact that God is our vision - that which we see the world by and through as well as our vision - that which is revealed before us, often inspiring. Existing simultaneously in both capacities God is our present and our future; our life and functioning as well as our capacity and potential.
There are the similar layers in the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37: 5-7) Having known beautifully faithful Christians who have for decades prayed for prodigal children I don't always like this verse. I am sure there are prodigal children who go to meet their maker with their parents never knowing the state of their relationship in Christ. For me, this verse is one that is answered on more layers than granting my wishes. I have also heard many people say that if prayers are unanswered the fault is mine in the fact that I must not be delighting myself in God, doing good, or committing myself to him fully enough. I think that God is more often unknown to me than He makes His blessings contingent on the level of my good doings.
The layers in this verse revolve around the phrase 'give me the desires of my heart'. It is the human capacity to desire, to hope that separates from the rest of creation. It may be that this is part of the attributes of humans that we are created in the image of God. He also hopes and desires. So God gave us the desires of our heart in our very capacity to desire anything. So why then would we be created to desire things that will never come to pass? Because in this we share in the heartbreak of our creator. In this fact we share the pain of people who can and will refuse Christ's sacrifice and go on to live separated from God.
Most commonly I am told that as we grow close to God He places within our hearts His desires. I think this is certainly true - but I do not think that simply because our desires are placed there by God that these wishes will come true. It seems that millions of God's own desires have gone ungranted in the joining of 'He wills that none would perish' and 'the wages of sin is death'. So either He doesn't will that none would perish or hell isn't real.
(The photo was taken from the new deck on October 2 in the golden light of sun setting - the next day the leaves were past prime)
